








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 437 | 23% |
| Smokes | 237 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 700 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,686 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silver Surfer | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Sose | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | gen | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | %s1 | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silver Surfer | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Sose | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | gen | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | %s1 | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sose | 8 | 0.0228 |
| #2 | gen | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Silver Surfer | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | %s1 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gen | 101 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sose | 77 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | %s1 | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Silver Surfer | 16 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sose | +5.24 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | Silver Surfer | +3.53 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | %s1 | +2.61 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | gen | +1.12 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | scout only | -0.13 | 42 | 50 |





