








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1766 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2723 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3000 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2556 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,063 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TTT | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | NoNa | 62% | 344 |
| #3 | Asturmaki | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | ᴘᴀᴘᴀʏᴀɢɪʀʟツ | 50% | 132 |
| #5 | Rael | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NoNa | 62% | 344 |
| #3 | Asturmaki | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | ᴘᴀᴘᴀʏᴀɢɪʀʟツ | 50% | 132 |
| #5 | Rael | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | PaK3lS0n | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoNa | 32 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ᴘᴀᴘᴀʏᴀɢɪʀʟツ | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Asturmaki | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | PaK3lS0n | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Rael | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoNa | 837 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #2 | ᴘᴀᴘᴀʏᴀɢɪʀʟツ | 618 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | Asturmaki | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rael | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | TTT | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaK3lS0n | +2.42 | 62 | 67 |
| #2 | TTT | +1.77 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | NoNa | +1.59 | 82 | 61 |
| #4 | Son of kennyS | +0.94 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | Asturmaki | +0.41 | 47 | 65 |





