








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2196 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2293 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1964 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,558 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaLLy | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | aekki | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mikko Merikivi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Kihveli | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | PikkuNikke | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaLLy | 520 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | aekki | 272 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kihveli | 198 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | PikkuNikke | 173 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mikko Merikivi | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorma Uotinen 48v | +2.95 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | metsuri | +2.83 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | Ori on farmaaja | +2.78 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | sakru | +1.05 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Kihveli | +0.92 | 70 | 63 |





