








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1831 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3330 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1716 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,872 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyn | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | kel | 60% | 72 |
| #3 | Sev | 58% | 104 |
| #4 | Dranzzz | 55% | 211 |
| #5 | thoup | 55% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sev | 58% | 104 |
| #4 | Dranzzz | 55% | 211 |
| #5 | thoup | 55% | 163 |
| #6 | buinn | 54% | 41 |
| #7 | AmateurHalibut | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kel | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | buinn | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Dranzzz | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Sev | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | thoup | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dranzzz | 636 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | thoup | 451 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Sev | 380 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | kel | 247 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | buinn | 145 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyn | +3.03 | 86 | 45 |
| #2 | buinn | +1.11 | 64 | 66 |
| #3 | kel | +1.01 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | thoup | +0.96 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | JD. | +0.95 | 66 | 52 |





