








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 691 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17077 | 45% |
| Smokes | 3867 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 10423 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6486 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,346,178 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2995 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joKeR. | 60% | 65 |
| #2 | candlez | 56% | 128 |
| #3 | <3 | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | MK | 49% | 70 |
| #5 | Wile | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | <3 | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | MK | 49% | 70 |
| #5 | Wile | 48% | 65 |
| #6 | Trenticles | 44% | 57 |
| #7 | FiEnD | 41% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wile | 35 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | FiEnD | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | candlez | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | joKeR. | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | MK | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | candlez | 455 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | FiEnD | 264 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wile | 263 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | <3 | 165 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Trenticles | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wile | +5.00 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Trenticles | +2.23 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | <3 | +2.15 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | candlez | +2.15 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | joKeR. | +1.64 | 61 | 52 |





