








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 223 | 30% |
| Smokes | 147 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 155 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 207 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,426 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | xotic | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Bedbug | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | .JW | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | 5h4rpy | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bedbug | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | .JW | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | 5h4rpy | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | p0ng | 35% | 20 |
| #7 | SeeSw1fty | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5h4rpy | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | p0ng | 73 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | xotic | 71 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bedbug | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | SeeSw1fty | 9 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xotic | +6.87 | 76 | 46 |
| #2 | .JW | +4.09 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | p0ng | +1.40 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | +0.91 | 80 | 51 |
| #5 | 5h4rpy | +0.17 | 53 | 61 |





