








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2716 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2502 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1736 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,886 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJ | 90% | 20 |
| #2 | JiNxZiE | 74% | 27 |
| #3 | prod1gy | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | w0mbat | 65% | 66 |
| #5 | a idiot | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJ | 90% | 20 |
| #2 | JiNxZiE | 74% | 27 |
| #3 | prod1gy | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | w0mbat | 65% | 66 |
| #5 | a idiot | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0mbat | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | AJ | 5 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | JiNxZiE | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | prod1gy | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0mbat | 308 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | JiNxZiE | 121 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | a idiot | 117 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #4 | AJ | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | prod1gy | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KraxyT | +3.01 | 86 | 77 |
| #2 | JiNxZiE | +2.28 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | AJ | +1.90 | 41 | 66 |
| #4 | w0mbat | +1.60 | 90 | 66 |
| #5 | prod1gy | +0.92 | 93 | 47 |





