








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 46 matches | 2,104 | |
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 400 | 18% |
| Smokes | 462 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 816 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,773 of utility $288 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 15ak | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | Fusion | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | emme1 | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | ✪Petros | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Stenberg | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪Petros | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Stenberg | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | Xeryo | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | lindquist | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Shima | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 15ak | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | emme1 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Stenberg | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Shima | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ✪Petros | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 15ak | 252 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Shima | 188 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #3 | emme1 | 167 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stenberg | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fusion | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emme1 | +4.36 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | gone | +1.93 | 86 | 45 |
| #3 | Xeryo | +1.13 | 90 | 48 |
| #4 | Stenberg | +0.82 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | 15ak | +0.64 | 85 | 67 |





