










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2665 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2639 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2714 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 915 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,395 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 593 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Monster Enjoyer | 51% | 172 |
| #2 | NoVaZ | 50% | 258 |
| #3 | WillSkiii | 31% | 29 |
| #4 | Elf Bar | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Monster Enjoyer | 51% | 172 |
| #2 | NoVaZ | 50% | 258 |
| #3 | WillSkiii | 31% | 29 |
| #4 | Elf Bar | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Monster Enjoyer | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | NoVaZ | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Elf Bar | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | WillSkiii | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Monster Enjoyer | 901 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | NoVaZ | 582 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | WillSkiii | 77 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elf Bar | 32 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purplestyrofoam | +1.07 | 57 | 56 |
| #2 | White Monster Enjoyer | +0.06 | 40 | 55 |
| #3 | NoVaZ | -0.64 | 24 | 57 |
| #4 | WillSkiii | -4.99 | 16 | 52 |
| #5 | Elf Bar | -5.50 | 13 | 36 |





