








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1293 | 33% |
| Smokes | 345 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1203 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1120 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,627 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NRVDMGβ’ | 45% | 205 |
| #4 | Pseudo-Sacrosanct Perversion | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | endless | 44% | 32 |
| #6 | Branden12 | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | Terra | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NRVDMGβ’ | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Terra | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | endless | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Pseudo-Sacrosanct Perversion | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Branden12 | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NRVDMGβ’ | 380 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | endless | 207 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | ππͺππ΅πͺ | 182 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Terra | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Branden12 | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Branden12 | +5.13 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | ππͺππ΅πͺ | +4.36 | 44 | 59 |
| #3 | βͺππ§ππΎπππ― | +1.61 | 49 | 37 |
| #4 | Pseudo-Sacrosanct Perversion | +0.84 | 37 | 39 |
| #5 | endless | +0.36 | 51 | 58 |





