








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2449 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2800 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2139 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,461,309 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1906 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓐nsseh | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | Elkkua | 50% | 206 |
| #3 | arska | 45% | 236 |
| #4 | –¦– ZAZA | 43% | 37 |
| #5 | niku | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓐nsseh | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | Elkkua | 50% | 206 |
| #3 | arska | 45% | 236 |
| #4 | –¦– ZAZA | 43% | 37 |
| #5 | niku | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arska | 189 | 0.0418 |
| #2 | Elkkua | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | niku | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | –¦– ZAZA | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | 𝓐nsseh | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkkua | 319 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | arska | 139 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | niku | 133 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝓐nsseh | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | –¦– ZAZA | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓐nsseh | +4.20 | 84 | 45 |
| #2 | –¦– ZAZA | +3.92 | 91 | 54 |
| #3 | niku | +2.87 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | Elkkua | +1.45 | 83 | 36 |
| #5 | Oskarツ | +0.01 | 57 | 45 |





