








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 569 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,604 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4023 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3218 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4480 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4977 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,139,020 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wamberg | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | -0‱HS- ChokeMeister | 50% | 331 |
| #3 | DeBreeze | 50% | 111 |
| #4 | NigoKino | 49% | 120 |
| #5 | rASCOW | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -0‱HS- ChokeMeister | 56 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | | SecretEliw | | 19 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | ♛ Maestro ♛ | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | DeBreeze | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | NigoKino | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -0‱HS- ChokeMeister | +1.20 | 78 | 34 |
| #2 | NigoKino | +0.74 | 67 | 46 |
| #3 | ツSejjan㋛ | +0.30 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | Kebabsvarvaren | +0.13 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Wamberg | -0.25 | 63 | 50 |





