








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 404 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1981 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1297 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,093 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buzz | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | R0ll U | 57% | 153 |
| #3 | mikey_p-_- | 53% | 203 |
| #4 | kordle | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | FROS DEMON | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | R0ll U | 57% | 153 |
| #3 | mikey_p-_- | 53% | 203 |
| #4 | kordle | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | FROS DEMON | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | grandma coco | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikey_p-_- | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | R0ll U | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | FROS DEMON | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | buzz | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | kordle | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikey_p-_- | 640 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | R0ll U | 484 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | buzz | 140 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | FROS DEMON | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | kordle | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buzz | +4.08 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | R0ll U | +1.93 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | kordle | +1.05 | 50 | 42 |
| #4 | grandma coco | +0.35 | 61 | 36 |
| #5 | mikey_p-_- | -0.01 | 50 | 58 |





