










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2225 | 36% |
| Smokes | 912 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1240 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1844 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,427 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TheDarkWolf | 37% | 71 |
| #6 | TUT3L | 31% | 61 |
| #7 | DeathAngel | 31% | 26 |
| #8 | LillaVargen | 31% | 26 |
| #9 | ➤♛HerrCommander♛◄ | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Roundhouse♛Rainer♛ | 604 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Juuzou | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ➤♛HerrCommander♛◄ | 144 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | DeathAngel | 125 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | OniNagato | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |





