








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2015 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2486 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1983 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,099 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not A Banana | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Oggymon | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | toby | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Props | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | P4zolite | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not A Banana | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Oggymon | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | toby | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Props | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | P4zolite | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Props | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | toby | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oggymon | 63 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | Not A Banana | 53 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | toby | 50 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Props | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | P4zolite | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE JESUS | +1.54 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | Oggymon | +0.58 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | Not A Banana | +0.14 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Props | -0.08 | 79 | 39 |
| #5 | toby | -0.16 | 84 | 59 |





