








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1222 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 859 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1240 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,398 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π§ππΆπ | 58% | 97 |
| #2 | Machey | 57% | 96 |
| #3 | FerrAhri | 55% | 159 |
| #4 | Joshua Sandman | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π§ππΆπ | 58% | 97 |
| #2 | Machey | 57% | 96 |
| #3 | FerrAhri | 55% | 159 |
| #4 | Joshua Sandman | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FerrAhri | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | π§ππΆπ | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Machey | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Joshua Sandman | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π§ππΆπ | 268 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Machey | 226 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | FerrAhri | 208 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Joshua Sandman | 160 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π§ππΆπ | +2.10 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Joshua Sandman | +0.98 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | Machey | +0.89 | 50 | 72 |
| #4 | FerrAhri | +0.38 | 47 | 50 |
| #5 | Lubisz Koksik? | -1.66 | 54 | 44 |





