








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4381 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6719 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3763 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3629 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,615,092 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zy Jong-Woo | 50% | 46 |
| #8 | Scylla | 50% | 134 |
| #9 | codza | 43% | 67 |
| #10 | lutin grognon | 42% | 36 |
| #11 | LeChat2Scylla | 42% | 65 |





