








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
66 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9 | 5% |
| Smokes | 15 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 64 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,547 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Azumanger Diorite Enjoyer | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | Hushed | 18% | 11 |
| #4 | [星街]Talalalalalalalalalaa | 14% | 7 |
| #5 | skyland23478 | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Azumanger Diorite Enjoyer | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | Hushed | 18% | 11 |
| #4 | [星街]Talalalalalalalalalaa | 14% | 7 |
| #5 | skyland23478 | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [星街]Talalalalalalalalalaa | 2 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Hushed | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | c | 1 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azumanger Diorite Enjoyer | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #2 | [星街]Talalalalalalalalalaa | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | Hushed | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | c | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | skyland23478 | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skyland23478 | +1.49 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Azumanger Diorite Enjoyer | -0.48 | 37 | 26 |
| #3 | [星街]Talalalalalalalalalaa | -0.89 | 39 | 39 |
| #4 | Hushed | -1.49 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | c | -2.26 | 48 | 37 |





