








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 500 | 28% |
| Smokes | 477 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 438 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 383 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,003 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PHallina | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Dorvid | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Ylä | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Im Rick James, Bitch | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | nålaD | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Im Rick James, Bitch | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | nålaD | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | mfdumb | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | Dazak | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Fiskig | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiskig | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mfdumb | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Fiskig | 25 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dazak | 19 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | PHallina | 15 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | Im Rick James, Bitch | 10 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im Rick James, Bitch | +3.25 | 56 | 55 |
| #2 | MojnarN | +3.14 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | mfdumb | +1.02 | 54 | 68 |
| #4 | Dazak | +1.02 | 54 | 53 |
| #5 | Ylä | -1.53 | 66 | 70 |





