








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 39 | 20% |
| Smokes | 18 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 76 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,176 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pertti Jäkälä | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | pottoust | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jui6i | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | アッラー | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Ballin Yoda | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pottoust | 272 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pertti Jäkälä | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jui6i | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sabrine ハンタ | 21 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | アッラー | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |





