








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2470 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1628 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2072 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,007,527 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sneed | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | snapyy | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | oleven | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | Señor Vac | 53% | 214 |
| #5 | Manual VAC | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | snapyy | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | oleven | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | Señor Vac | 53% | 214 |
| #5 | Manual VAC | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | .xty | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 38 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | oleven | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Manual VAC | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | snapyy | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | .xty | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 684 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | oleven | 246 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Manual VAC | 125 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | snapyy | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | .xty | 36 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sneed | +3.54 | 85 | 13 |
| #2 | oleven | +2.38 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | sherixjesus | +1.34 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Manual VAC | +0.80 | 66 | 81 |
| #5 | Señor Vac | +0.20 | 78 | 67 |





