










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1229 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 854 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,707 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oerkel | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | smoe'# | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | Spaulding | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | ♙ | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Easty | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smoe'# | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Sympadio | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | oerkel | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | iTamexx | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Flax | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smoe'# | 209 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sympadio | 85 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | oerkel | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | bekra | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♙ | 40 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sympadio | +3.59 | 67 | 80 |
| #2 | smoe'# | +3.13 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Flax | +1.41 | 69 | 79 |
| #4 | Makaveli | +1.00 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | oerkel | +0.99 | 59 | 55 |





