








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
77 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 86 | 28% |
| Smokes | 72 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,890 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burritolele | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Niggy | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Hamko | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Balubas | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Midget | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burritolele | 2 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Midget | 2 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | Niggy | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niggy | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #2 | Midget | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | Burritolele | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Balubas | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hamko | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midget | +5.50 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | Burritolele | +4.04 | 56 | 53 |
| #3 | Balubas | +3.32 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | Hamko | +2.51 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | Niggy | +2.03 | 53 | 61 |





