








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 571 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4523 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7407 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5640 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5269 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,176,393 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 54% | 327 |
| #2 | Pedrik | 54% | 260 |
| #3 | iBen | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Alaaddin | 53% | 458 |
| #5 | kob | 52% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lord | 52% | 330 |
| #7 | Hummingbird | 51% | 265 |
| #8 | jonas ツ | 51% | 88 |
| #9 | c.trainacher | 50% | 485 |
| #10 | loimsky | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaaddin | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | c.trainacher | 13 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Hummingbird | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | jonas ツ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Lord | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaaddin | 1280 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #2 | Hummingbird | 1126 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #3 | c.trainacher | 892 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| #4 | Lord | 413 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | Pedrik | 325 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyeru | +2.41 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Pedrik | +1.44 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Alaaddin | +0.97 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Max | +0.55 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | +0.06 | 69 | 73 |





