










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 913 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,318 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1050 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bambushi | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Ackerman | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | win_4_life | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | NATI | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bambushi | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Ackerman | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | win_4_life | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | NATI | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NATI | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Bambushi | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | win_4_life | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Ackerman | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NATI | 127 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ackerman | 108 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bambushi | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | win_4_life | 62 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alon | +2.47 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | Bambushi | +1.83 | 63 | 70 |
| #3 | win_4_life | +1.09 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Ackerman | -0.15 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | NATI | -2.16 | 55 | 63 |





