








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3074 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 463 matches | 2,249 | |
| Faceit | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3285 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3056 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2216 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1462 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,588,393 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 030301 | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | TJOMPA | 64% | 64 |
| #3 | Jöjje | 63% | 84 |
| #4 | Rocky | 59% | 73 |
| #5 | Dieg0 | 57% | 40 |





