








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 706 | 35% |
| Smokes | 567 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 506 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,811 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoEƎn | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | _res | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | SingleBanane | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Bullet | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | BOT | Freaky | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT | Freaky | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | SingleBanane | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | NoEƎn | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ™丂ЩΛǤЯÌ匚 † | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Tino | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoEƎn | 111 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | BOT | Freaky | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | SingleBanane | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ™丂ЩΛǤЯÌ匚 † | 72 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | SnoZz | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |





