








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 344 | 15% |
| Smokes | 574 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,323 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XAx | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | Mpampouin Thundercock | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | v2hk | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | maakler⛟доминатор | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | ahuzla | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v2hk | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Mpampouin Thundercock | 5 | 0.0667 |
| #3 | ahuzla | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | maakler⛟доминатор | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maakler⛟доминатор | 105 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | v2hk | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | cracked. | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | XAx | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | ahuzla | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mpampouin Thundercock | +9.58 | 100 | 15 |
| #2 | El*Juanoton | +2.35 | 78 | 49 |
| #3 | XAx | +1.37 | 85 | 50 |
| #4 | cracked. | +0.60 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | ahuzla | -0.13 | 82 | 51 |





