








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 753 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21439 | 44% |
| Smokes | 6141 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 11861 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9368 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,401 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NannaBanana | 51% | 134 |
| #2 | DeadDevilTeemo | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Biidas | 42% | 443 |
| #4 | Cirbyman | 39% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NannaBanana | 51% | 134 |
| #2 | DeadDevilTeemo | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Biidas | 42% | 443 |
| #4 | Cirbyman | 39% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NannaBanana | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Biidas | 17 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | DeadDevilTeemo | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Cirbyman | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biidas | 262 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #2 | NannaBanana | 243 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Cirbyman | 140 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | DeadDevilTeemo | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doeden 2 SRC | +1.54 | 15 | 82 |
| #2 | DeadDevilTeemo | -0.23 | 43 | 38 |
| #3 | Cirbyman | -1.30 | 16 | 53 |
| #4 | NannaBanana | -1.40 | 16 | 49 |
| #5 | Biidas | -4.31 | 6 | 33 |





