








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2341 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3409 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2233 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1358 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,494,265 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sunny | 42% | 264 |
| #3 | DankSpankums | 42% | 236 |
| #4 | Alt.Null | 40% | 72 |
| #5 | Chevy | 36% | 42 |
| #6 | potatoqueen! | 34% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | 817 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | DankSpankums | 778 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | potatoqueen! | 162 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Alt.Null | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chevy | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | +1.79 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | DankSpankums | +1.74 | 52 | 59 |
| #3 | Chevy | +0.78 | 44 | 46 |
| #4 | Orange kool aid | -0.27 | 34 | 40 |
| #5 | Alt.Null | -1.54 | 14 | 25 |





