








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 977 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3100 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3125 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3310 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2592 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,592,077 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Good Guy Jay | 53% | 446 |
| #2 | Darc | 52% | 154 |
| #3 | Fireboy | 51% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Good Guy Jay | 53% | 446 |
| #2 | Darc | 52% | 154 |
| #3 | Fireboy | 51% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fireboy | 33 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Good Guy Jay | 24 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Darc | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fireboy | 1805 | 0.19 | 61 min |
| #2 | Good Guy Jay | 695 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #3 | Darc | 284 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fireboy | +3.43 | 90 | 75 |
| #2 | Turtle | +1.61 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | Darc | -0.90 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Good Guy Jay | -2.38 | 62 | 39 |





