








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3230 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4670 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3640 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,412 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /Azer1th | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | KraNoX | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | x. biXtro (BR) SKINS | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | killducks20 | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | FalleN Da Wish | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuhadiB | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | .:CROWN:.222 | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | /Azer1th | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | FalleN Da Wish | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ٭٭ VODKA_Drunker ٭٭ | 2 | 0.0014 |





