








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4531 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6216 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3661 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2993 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,358 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opi_um | 48% | 101 |
| #2 | narrad opa | 45% | 97 |
| #3 | mC. O | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | Wicht | 45% | 178 |
| #5 | quickl | 44% | 371 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quickl | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Wicht | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | narrad opa | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Opi_um | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | mC. O | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wicht | 201 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | narrad opa | 128 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Opi_um | 118 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | quickl | 106 | 0.01 | 3 min |
| #5 | mC. O | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |





