








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2013 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4086 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3187 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2330 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,027,668 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 807 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronaldo | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | DJ Pik Lort | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | WaltIsBald | 53% | 307 |
| #4 | bartho | 50% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronaldo | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | DJ Pik Lort | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | WaltIsBald | 53% | 307 |
| #4 | bartho | 50% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaltIsBald | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | bartho | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | DJ Pik Lort | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ronaldo | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaltIsBald | 395 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | bartho | 310 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | DJ Pik Lort | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ronaldo | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronaldo | +1.99 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | DJ Pik Lort | +1.47 | 51 | 49 |
| #3 | WaltIsBald | +1.28 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | Jocke | +0.38 | 51 | 43 |
| #5 | bartho | -0.87 | 50 | 56 |





