








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 27% |
| Smokes | 675 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 983 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 829 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,392 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yPedroQ | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | ☭ SamPleX | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | Princesa Leonor de Borbón | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | pabl0 | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Stun | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BulletHail | 53% | 45 |
| #7 | peepo | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | mihai | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | zesi | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Los Kiz0os | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BulletHail | 15 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | peepo | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Stun | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | yPedroQ | 4 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | pabl0 | 4 | 0.0267 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BulletHail | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | peepo | 141 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | zesi | 62 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☭ SamPleX | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stun | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smokyy | +3.07 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | BulletHail | +3.04 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | peepo | +2.10 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | ☭ SamPleX | +1.41 | 52 | 74 |
| #5 | mihai | +1.26 | 90 | 45 |





