








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4077 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3898 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2517 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2732 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,279 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heisenbrgr♿ | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | miXu | 56% | 113 |
| #3 | Kojo | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | iRopsu | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | smivve | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | smivve | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | ImBullen | 53% | 30 |
| #7 | keks | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | eMP | 49% | 37 |
| #9 | odz | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miXu | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | eMP | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ImBullen | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miXu | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | iRopsu | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | eMP | 129 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | smivve | 123 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | keks | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kepes | +2.19 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | Kojo | +0.91 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | keks | +0.44 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | eMP | +0.39 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | Heisenbrgr♿ | -0.19 | 54 | 69 |





