








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 34% |
| Smokes | 174 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 142 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,313 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sowalio | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Jyo | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | h1kaN | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | H4SAN4TOR | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | TruNiQ | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sowalio | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Jyo | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | h1kaN | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | H4SAN4TOR | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | TruNiQ | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sowalio | 28 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #2 | TruNiQ | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | H4SAN4TOR | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jyo | 12 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | h1kaN | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyo | +8.65 | 95 | 69 |
| #2 | sowalio | +4.73 | 89 | 74 |
| #3 | TruNiQ | +3.13 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | 66 | +2.95 | 87 | 60 |
| #5 | H4SAN4TOR | +0.22 | 85 | 65 |





