








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1065 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5669 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5699 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4623 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5634 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,232,829 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2754 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beaver | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | fetuSJ ☛☚ | 58% | 225 |
| #3 | jENZUWIN | 56% | 256 |
| #4 | Gubs | 56% | 118 |
| #5 | Breeze | 54% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jENZUWIN | 1556 | 0.28 | 47 min |
| #2 | Kett | 757 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #3 | fetuSJ ☛☚ | 680 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | Gubs | 410 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Breeze | 264 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beaver | +2.88 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | jENZUWIN | +1.56 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | big donger | +1.45 | 68 | 48 |
| #4 | Kett | +1.04 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | gosh | +0.90 | 85 | 60 |





