








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1341 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1886 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1174 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,562,772 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mcnaughty | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | tittylover69 | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | ✰ لوركن ✰ | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Planet Destroyer | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | imilanfc | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | imilanfc | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | FiveNein | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | Lucky Arrow | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | Incredible Chunk | 31% | 39 |
| #9 | bel | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰ لوركن ✰ | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Mcnaughty | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Planet Destroyer | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | FiveNein | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tittylover69 | 167 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Planet Destroyer | 146 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Incredible Chunk | 128 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✰ لوركن ✰ | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | FiveNein | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mcnaughty | +6.24 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | tittylover69 | +0.52 | 35 | 60 |
| #3 | ✰ لوركن ✰ | +0.45 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | imilanfc | +0.39 | 65 | 69 |
| #5 | Planet Destroyer | +0.31 | 43 | 74 |





