








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 661 matches | ||
| Wingman | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 160 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1107 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2029 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2240 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1715 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,634,893 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2903 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquirrelWhisperer16 | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | oki-doki | 49% | 182 |
| #3 | Doctor Knickerbocker | 48% | 133 |
| #4 | Sosu | 44% | 87 |
| #5 | Elijah | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oki-doki | 49% | 182 |
| #3 | Doctor Knickerbocker | 48% | 133 |
| #4 | Sosu | 44% | 87 |
| #5 | Elijah | 40% | 58 |
| #6 | PJNote | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oki-doki | 55 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Doctor Knickerbocker | 35 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Elijah | 15 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Sosu | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | SquirrelWhisperer16 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oki-doki | 472 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Doctor Knickerbocker | 414 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Elijah | 275 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | PJNote | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | SquirrelWhisperer16 | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elijah | +2.63 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | oki-doki | +2.40 | 65 | 45 |
| #3 | SquirrelWhisperer16 | +1.25 | 53 | 35 |
| #4 | Happy | -0.48 | 30 | 25 |
| #5 | Sosu | -0.89 | 21 | 30 |





