








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2031 | 39% |
| Smokes | 957 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 900 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,350 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilbert | 49% | 94 |
| #2 | neiti ei osu ja kuolee vaa | 41% | 183 |
| #3 | etuxu | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | aBEZi | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilbert | 49% | 94 |
| #2 | neiti ei osu ja kuolee vaa | 41% | 183 |
| #3 | etuxu | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | aBEZi | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilbert | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | aBEZi | 7 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | neiti ei osu ja kuolee vaa | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neiti ei osu ja kuolee vaa | 879 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #2 | Gilbert | 219 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | etuxu | 125 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | aBEZi | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aBEZi | +5.99 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | NuC | +3.45 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | Gilbert | +0.34 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | etuxu | -3.09 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | neiti ei osu ja kuolee vaa | -6.38 | 16 | 56 |





