








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Esplay | 142 matches | 2,244 | |
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 212 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5695 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6988 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6151 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5639 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,068,533 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Perry | 47% | 43 |
| #13 | Pm .!.. | 45% | 55 |
| #14 | Balto | 44% | 45 |
| #15 | AxxA | 40% | 58 |
| #16 | Skillzツ | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMUGG | 455 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | supreh | 370 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪brokkoli per | 335 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | Balto | 256 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #5 | Daison | 192 | 0.09 | 5 min |





