








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1541 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1626 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1833 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1489 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,868 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPT STOLI | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | nuorihosuja | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | MiniBundy | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | ose ryöpyttää putinia bbc:ll | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | KurjaHursti | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma lehtonen | 273 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | osQ | 182 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | ose ryöpyttää putinia bbc:ll | 101 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | NeonApe | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | CPT STOLI | 87 | 0.22 | 2 min |





