








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2030 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1732 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 997 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1459 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,094 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F.U.R.I.O.U.S. | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | fame | 88% | 33 |
| #3 | Slash | 85% | 41 |
| #4 | KEVIN ONER | 83% | 18 |
| #5 | mcniff | 80% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Slash | 85% | 41 |
| #4 | KEVIN ONER | 83% | 18 |
| #5 | mcniff | 80% | 15 |
| #6 | dcarp | 74% | 23 |
| #7 | garrison harrison | 74% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEVIN ONER | 14 | 0.0381 |
| #2 | dcarp | 11 | 0.0237 |
| #3 | Slash | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | mcniff | 6 | 0.0192 |
| #5 | garrison harrison | 4 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slash | 222 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | dcarp | 93 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | fame | 86 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | garrison harrison | 86 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | KEVIN ONER | 45 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kamro✪ | +4.91 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | F.U.R.I.O.U.S. | +4.76 | 93 | 56 |
| #3 | Slash | +3.33 | 83 | 78 |
| #4 | KEVIN ONER | +3.11 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | dcarp | +2.94 | 89 | 68 |





