








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5010 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4896 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3876 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5219 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,300,724 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Varme! | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | EGERN -iwal- | 43% | 81 |
| #5 | ZANY -iwal- | 43% | 213 |
| #6 | ¤_¤BumbleBiee¤_¤ | 39% | 193 |
| #7 | Zeussy | 39% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZANY -iwal- | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Mokkaluder | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ¤_¤BumbleBiee¤_¤ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Zeussy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | EGERN -iwal- | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤_¤BumbleBiee¤_¤ | 620 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Mokkaluder | 397 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | ZANY -iwal- | 380 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Zeussy | 264 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | EGERN -iwal- | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |





