








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2045 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1085 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2720 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,250 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrgrvsh | 50% | 160 |
| #2 | Calrissian | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Icesory | 47% | 223 |
| #4 | Globemaster2000 | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | Handkante | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrgrvsh | 50% | 160 |
| #2 | Calrissian | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Icesory | 47% | 223 |
| #4 | Globemaster2000 | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | Handkante | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrgrvsh | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Icesory | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Calrissian | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Handkante | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Globemaster2000 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrgrvsh | 305 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Icesory | 177 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Calrissian | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Globemaster2000 | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Handkante | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrgrvsh | +3.63 | 57 | 58 |
| #2 | Icesory | +2.19 | 49 | 46 |
| #3 | Globemaster2000 | -2.03 | 32 | 54 |
| #4 | Calrissian | -2.47 | 24 | 50 |
| #5 | Handkante | -2.54 | 18 | 25 |





