








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1517 | 10% |
| Smokes | 6173 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 3611 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3154 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,491,616 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2593 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DV1 | 56% | 91 |
| #2 | Keimo | 49% | 93 |
| #3 | syntaxe | 49% | 82 |
| #4 | ᴹᴼᴳᵁ︀|ᴍᴏɢᴜ | 48% | 122 |
| #5 | TooThicc | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | syntaxe | 49% | 82 |
| #4 | ᴹᴼᴳᵁ︀|ᴍᴏɢᴜ | 48% | 122 |
| #5 | TooThicc | 45% | 33 |
| #6 | JG | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | Kitchen aid | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keimo | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | syntaxe | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | ᴹᴼᴳᵁ︀|ᴍᴏɢᴜ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | JG | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | DV1 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DV1 | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | syntaxe | 150 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Keimo | 125 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | ᴹᴼᴳᵁ︀|ᴍᴏɢᴜ | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | TooThicc | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keimo | +2.45 | 60 | 47 |
| #2 | ⋊ılɐɐʞıɯǝ⋊ | +0.74 | 57 | 34 |
| #3 | JG | +0.18 | 44 | 67 |
| #4 | syntaxe | -0.23 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | DV1 | -0.58 | 18 | 58 |





