








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 919 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




144 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10980 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9573 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8241 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9402 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,893,454 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | purpl | 48% | 343 |
| #6 | Osku | 47% | 132 |
| #7 | Tohtori Tenkobar | 46% | 59 |
| #8 | ELSIZZU℞P | 46% | 320 |
| #9 | Denzel | 40% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELSIZZU℞P | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Denzel | 16 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | purpl | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Milu | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Osku | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purpl | 596 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | Milu | 429 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | ELSIZZU℞P | 305 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Denzel | 253 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Osku | 201 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superdynyy | +1.84 | 49 | 64 |
| #2 | Tohtori Tenkobar | +1.81 | 59 | 53 |
| #3 | Osku | +1.63 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | Raimeiki | +1.16 | 52 | 55 |
| #5 | Milu | +0.93 | 57 | 72 |





