








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4499 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3284 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2767 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2328 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,537 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avaladeen | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | BoB l'EponGe FonSder | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Zora | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | D O 🅻 I | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | TuroK | 43% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BoB l'EponGe FonSder | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Zora | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | D O 🅻 I | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | TuroK | 43% | 86 |
| #6 | Low Skill Confirmed | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D O 🅻 I | 20 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | BoB l'EponGe FonSder | 13 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Zora | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | TuroK | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D O 🅻 I | 860 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | Zora | 238 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | BoB l'EponGe FonSder | 229 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | TuroK | 160 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Avaladeen | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D O 🅻 I | +2.80 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Alex | +1.40 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | TuroK | +0.71 | 50 | 68 |
| #4 | BoB l'EponGe FonSder | +0.15 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | Avaladeen | -0.79 | 66 | 63 |





