








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 412 | 23% |
| Smokes | 455 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,593 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 44% | 41 |
| #2 | Rob | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | Prabs | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 44% | 41 |
| #2 | Rob | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | Prabs | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Jesus | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prabs | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rob | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jesus | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | +0.65 | 77 | 49 |
| #2 | Dspawn | +0.60 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | Prabs | -0.01 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | Rob | -0.81 | 71 | 51 |





